Home Opener beach bash doctor's note

Dear __________________,

Please excuse ____________ for their absence on April 10. He/She was recently diagnosed with Cubs Fever. Currently, the only known cure is to have the afflicted Cubs fan celebrate and watch Cubs games, ideally surrounded by fellow Cubs fans. There is a support group meeting at 7 a.m. on Monday, April 10 offering an all-day support program. There will be items from the recommended diet such as Cubbie Coladas, Cubbie Blue Burgers and Cubbie Blue Beer, all of which are known to reduce symptoms.